A freewrite, I suppose.
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Creative Souls :: Writing :: Freewrites
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A freewrite, I suppose.
This is just a random, REALLY short freewrite I wrote a little while ago. Nothing big, but I thought I'd share it. ^^
I had originally written it in Japanese, but I'll translate it for you guys.
I had sat down, intending to begin plotting a new story, but instead, this happened. It sounds cooler in Japanese. xD
~~~
Here's another little freewrite I just did. Beginning to a story? Hm...
I stared out of the car window in silence. Thick, heavy raindrops splattered the cold window as lightning flashed across the sky. It was the middle of the day, but one couldn’t tell due to the mass of dark clouds up above. The day seemed cold, sad, and lonely; just as I felt. You see, my family is moving. Again. This marks the third time this year, and it’s only August. I sighed, but said nothing. My mother opened her mouth, as if to speak comforting words, but seemed to think better of it and kept quiet. I had hoped she would say something, I needed encouraging words right now. But why would she say something. Not to me, anyway. I checked the time. 2:30. Father said we wouldn’t be arriving until 6. I sighed again and shut my eyes.
“Suzume.”
I looked at my mother. “Did you say something?” Mother looked at me, shook her head, and quickly looked away. It was just my imagination, I told myself. The car came to a stoplight, and I looked out the window again. I saw an elderly Japanese woman at the side of the road, looking straight at me. “Suzume.” I heard again. I blinked, shook my head, and looked again at the woman, but she was gone. I was just seeing things, I thought to myself. I leaned against the window and drifted off to sleep.
I took my second freewrite and just continued it a bit, and wrote this.
I stared out of the car window in silence. Thick, heavy raindrops splattered the cold window as lightning flashed across the sky. It was the middle of the day, but one couldn’t tell due to the mass of dark clouds up above. The day seemed cold, sad, and lonely; just as I felt. You see, my family is moving. Again. This marks the third time this year, and it’s only August. I sighed, but said nothing. My mother opened her mouth, as if to speak comforting words, but seemed to think better of it and kept quiet. I had hoped she would say something, I needed encouraging words right now. But why would she say something. Not to me, anyway. I checked the time. 2:30. Father said we wouldn’t be arriving until 6. I sighed again and shut my eyes.
“Suzume.”
I looked at my mother. “Did you say something?” Mother looked at me, shook her head, and quickly looked away. It was just my imagination, I told myself. The car came to a stoplight, and I looked out the window again. I saw an elderly Japanese woman at the side of the road, looking straight at me. “Suzume.” I heard again. I blinked, shook my head, and looked again at the woman, but she was gone. I was just seeing things, I thought to myself. I leaned against the window and drifted off to sleep.
“Lacey, wake up!”
I opened my eyes, gasping for breath. I looked around frantically, seeing my Mother first. She was okay. And Dad, he was okay too. We were still in the car, stopped in front of a large old house. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a dream. I opened the car door and stepped outside. It was twilight, the sky was shades of pinks and oranges. It was cold outside, and I quickly pulled on my hoodie before grabbing my things. I followed my Dad up the small hill to our house, surrounded by a vast forest. Dad opened the grand front doors and we walked a ways inside. It was a large house with many, many rooms and a grand staircase. I smiled up at the house and climed the winding, wooden stairs. I walked down the hall a bit and opened the first door I saw. It was a master bedroom with a king bathroom and large closet. Mom and Dad’s room. I skipped down the long hall a bit more and opened the next door. Another king bathroom. I skipped along a bit further to the third door. It was a large bedroom with a tall beautiful window with a ledge. The perfect place to read a good book. There was a large bed with a canopy facing a small walk-in closet. This room was mine. I threw my things down on the bare mattress, and ran over to the window. I sat down and opened it, letting the cool evening breeze flow through the stuffy bedroom. I sat back on the ledge and watched as the sun set behind the trees.
I slowly walked down the stairs and outside to the moving van. I grabbed two boxes labeled with my name and stacked them on top of each other, carrying them into the house. I set down the boxes and opened the first one. All my cushions, blankets, and pillows were piled inside. I fixed my mattress with a sheet, my comforter and a few pillows. I took a few cushions, and a blanket and lay them on the window seat. I opened the second box, revealing all my countless books. I smiled, carefully taking out the books, one by one and stacking them against the wall near the window. It’d have to do until I got around to getting a bookshelf. I went back out to the moving van and grabbed the last two boxes with my name. I set them in the closet and opened them up. My clothes were crammed into the two boxes. I rummaged about for my pajamas, put them on, and walked over to the window. I grabbed one of my Harry Potter books and settled down at the window to read.
Should I continue this, and begin writing a story?
I had originally written it in Japanese, but I'll translate it for you guys.
Hate. Loneliness. Mistrust. Longing. Sadness. This is what I am made of. This is my place in this world. A place in tears. "Sorry, forgive me," you always say. You lie. There is no trust, no forgiveness between us, 'friend'. Me... alone... empty... no... NO! You... can't... don't let me die!
Original, in JapaneseKirai. Kodoku. Fushin. Setsubo. Kanashimi. Kore ga tsukura imu monodesu. Watashi no basho kono sekai. Namida no aru basho. "Gomen, watashi yurusu," anata wa itsumi iu. Iie shinrai, yurushi watashi no anata, 'yujin'. Watashi... Tandoku... Sora... Iie... IIE! Anata... Dekimasen... Watashi wa shina sete inai!
I had sat down, intending to begin plotting a new story, but instead, this happened. It sounds cooler in Japanese. xD
~~~
Here's another little freewrite I just did. Beginning to a story? Hm...
I stared out of the car window in silence. Thick, heavy raindrops splattered the cold window as lightning flashed across the sky. It was the middle of the day, but one couldn’t tell due to the mass of dark clouds up above. The day seemed cold, sad, and lonely; just as I felt. You see, my family is moving. Again. This marks the third time this year, and it’s only August. I sighed, but said nothing. My mother opened her mouth, as if to speak comforting words, but seemed to think better of it and kept quiet. I had hoped she would say something, I needed encouraging words right now. But why would she say something. Not to me, anyway. I checked the time. 2:30. Father said we wouldn’t be arriving until 6. I sighed again and shut my eyes.
“Suzume.”
I looked at my mother. “Did you say something?” Mother looked at me, shook her head, and quickly looked away. It was just my imagination, I told myself. The car came to a stoplight, and I looked out the window again. I saw an elderly Japanese woman at the side of the road, looking straight at me. “Suzume.” I heard again. I blinked, shook my head, and looked again at the woman, but she was gone. I was just seeing things, I thought to myself. I leaned against the window and drifted off to sleep.
~~~
I took my second freewrite and just continued it a bit, and wrote this.
I stared out of the car window in silence. Thick, heavy raindrops splattered the cold window as lightning flashed across the sky. It was the middle of the day, but one couldn’t tell due to the mass of dark clouds up above. The day seemed cold, sad, and lonely; just as I felt. You see, my family is moving. Again. This marks the third time this year, and it’s only August. I sighed, but said nothing. My mother opened her mouth, as if to speak comforting words, but seemed to think better of it and kept quiet. I had hoped she would say something, I needed encouraging words right now. But why would she say something. Not to me, anyway. I checked the time. 2:30. Father said we wouldn’t be arriving until 6. I sighed again and shut my eyes.
“Suzume.”
I looked at my mother. “Did you say something?” Mother looked at me, shook her head, and quickly looked away. It was just my imagination, I told myself. The car came to a stoplight, and I looked out the window again. I saw an elderly Japanese woman at the side of the road, looking straight at me. “Suzume.” I heard again. I blinked, shook my head, and looked again at the woman, but she was gone. I was just seeing things, I thought to myself. I leaned against the window and drifted off to sleep.
~~~
I screamed as Father slammed on the breaks in the middle of the intersection, causing the car to spin out of control. Two cars, each from the opposite direction, t-boned us on either side. I watched in horror as the glass of the windshield shattered down upon my Father. My mother fell to the floor, slamming her head on the floor of the car. All traffic stopped, and police sirens could be heard in the distance. Everything around me seemed to have slowed, all noise ceased. Thick, heavy tears began cascading down my cheeks. “Lacey,” I heard. “Lacey.” I didn’t know who was calling me. I didn’t who I was, where I was. I was just, there. I opened my mouth, but too tired to speak, closed it and collapsed.“Lacey, wake up!”
I opened my eyes, gasping for breath. I looked around frantically, seeing my Mother first. She was okay. And Dad, he was okay too. We were still in the car, stopped in front of a large old house. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a dream. I opened the car door and stepped outside. It was twilight, the sky was shades of pinks and oranges. It was cold outside, and I quickly pulled on my hoodie before grabbing my things. I followed my Dad up the small hill to our house, surrounded by a vast forest. Dad opened the grand front doors and we walked a ways inside. It was a large house with many, many rooms and a grand staircase. I smiled up at the house and climed the winding, wooden stairs. I walked down the hall a bit and opened the first door I saw. It was a master bedroom with a king bathroom and large closet. Mom and Dad’s room. I skipped down the long hall a bit more and opened the next door. Another king bathroom. I skipped along a bit further to the third door. It was a large bedroom with a tall beautiful window with a ledge. The perfect place to read a good book. There was a large bed with a canopy facing a small walk-in closet. This room was mine. I threw my things down on the bare mattress, and ran over to the window. I sat down and opened it, letting the cool evening breeze flow through the stuffy bedroom. I sat back on the ledge and watched as the sun set behind the trees.
I slowly walked down the stairs and outside to the moving van. I grabbed two boxes labeled with my name and stacked them on top of each other, carrying them into the house. I set down the boxes and opened the first one. All my cushions, blankets, and pillows were piled inside. I fixed my mattress with a sheet, my comforter and a few pillows. I took a few cushions, and a blanket and lay them on the window seat. I opened the second box, revealing all my countless books. I smiled, carefully taking out the books, one by one and stacking them against the wall near the window. It’d have to do until I got around to getting a bookshelf. I went back out to the moving van and grabbed the last two boxes with my name. I set them in the closet and opened them up. My clothes were crammed into the two boxes. I rummaged about for my pajamas, put them on, and walked over to the window. I grabbed one of my Harry Potter books and settled down at the window to read.
Should I continue this, and begin writing a story?
Last edited by Music Is Love on Sun 05 Dec 2010, 4:23 pm; edited 4 times in total
Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Ooh, kinda dark.... Good though. It does sound cool in Japanese.
superdork11- Rising Star 1
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Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Whoa. That was really good. And it does sound very cool in Japanese.
Tolly12bells- Rising Star 2
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Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Yeah, it was. I had to say it aloud.
superdork11- Rising Star 1
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Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Thank you. ^__^
I added another little freewrite I just wrote. It's really bugging me, becuase I know exactly where I could put my Japanese one in a story, and I have an opening. I really want to write the story at least until the point where I use my freewrite. But I don't know what the plot would be, or anything.
I added another little freewrite I just wrote. It's really bugging me, becuase I know exactly where I could put my Japanese one in a story, and I have an opening. I really want to write the story at least until the point where I use my freewrite. But I don't know what the plot would be, or anything.
Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Ooh, that's really good, and would be a really good start to a story. Hm...
superdork11- Rising Star 1
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Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
That is really good! I didn't know you knew Japanese! ^_^
I'm going to create a freewrites section and move this into it.
I'm going to create a freewrites section and move this into it.
Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Thanks! ^__^ I know some Japanese. Mainly for this one I knew all of the emotions and smaller words. I had to translate some of it.
Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Ah, good old translators.
Good, I think we could use one.
Good, I think we could use one.
superdork11- Rising Star 1
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Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
I added a continuation of the second freewrite. Shall I continue it further?
Re: A freewrite, I suppose.
Ooh, it's good!
superdork11- Rising Star 1
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Creative Souls :: Writing :: Freewrites
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