Creative Souls
Welcome to Creative Souls! This annoying popup is going to follow you around until you login or register. >=D So I suggest you do so now.
If you plan on viewing the forum as a guest, be aware that as a guest you won't be able to reply to anything and won't be cabable of accessing some parts of the forum. I'd suggest you register.

Broken

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Broken

Post by Tolly12bells on Fri 06 May 2011, 9:54 pm

Description:
Spoiler:
This is probably the most depressing poem I've written, but, I thought it was relatively good, so... Here.

Pushed to the limit
Past my control
Dreading the break
Life at last takes its toll

Fading in, fading out
Getting lost in my dreams
Teary eyes are losing
Their once hopeful gleam

There's lead in my stomach
While the memories flood
My hands won't stop quivering
From the ice in my blood

You brought me to breaking
Knocked me down on my knees
Probably thinking
I'd manage with ease

I'm not invincible
Not even close
And you left me behind
When I needed you most

Never will come
The tears I beg to flow over
I need every wish
Each star, and each clover

"Loves me, loves me not"
Goes this gruesome game
Lost my will to play
And you are to blame

I see you with her
Inside I die yet again
My wish tonight:
Just please let it end

The endless pain
The tears in the night
When moments before
I sailed like a kite

I thought I could trust you
To keep me from harm
But my trust fell to pieces
While I broke in your arms

_____________________________

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ The Fray ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
avatar
Tolly12bells
Rising Star 2
Rising Star 2

Posts : 6116
Points : 36320
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2009-09-19
Age : 21
Location : On a midnight train going anywhere...

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by superdork11 on Fri 06 May 2011, 10:22 pm

I already read that, but it's still o.O whoa. It's ridiculously good. o.O
avatar
superdork11
Rising Star 1
Rising Star 1

Posts : 3726
Points : 33305
Reputation : 16
Join date : 2009-11-04
Age : 19
Location : Watching you. O.O

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by Tolly12bells on Fri 06 May 2011, 10:34 pm

Thanks... I'm proud of my rhyming...

_____________________________

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ The Fray ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
avatar
Tolly12bells
Rising Star 2
Rising Star 2

Posts : 6116
Points : 36320
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2009-09-19
Age : 21
Location : On a midnight train going anywhere...

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by superdork11 on Fri 06 May 2011, 10:36 pm

Your rhyming is crazy on that one.
avatar
superdork11
Rising Star 1
Rising Star 1

Posts : 3726
Points : 33305
Reputation : 16
Join date : 2009-11-04
Age : 19
Location : Watching you. O.O

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by Tolly12bells on Fri 06 May 2011, 11:05 pm

Thanks... One of the few times I've actually been proud of a rhyme scheme...

_____________________________

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ The Fray ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
avatar
Tolly12bells
Rising Star 2
Rising Star 2

Posts : 6116
Points : 36320
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2009-09-19
Age : 21
Location : On a midnight train going anywhere...

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by superdork11 on Fri 06 May 2011, 11:06 pm

It was really good.
avatar
superdork11
Rising Star 1
Rising Star 1

Posts : 3726
Points : 33305
Reputation : 16
Join date : 2009-11-04
Age : 19
Location : Watching you. O.O

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by summer on Sat 07 May 2011, 8:42 am

That was a sad poem but it was really well written.
avatar
summer
Apprentice 2
Apprentice 2

Posts : 794
Points : 27946
Reputation : 2
Join date : 2010-07-24
Age : 18
Location : Somewhere in my own Dream World.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by Tolly12bells on Sat 07 May 2011, 11:32 am

Thanks, Rachel.

_____________________________

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ The Fray ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
avatar
Tolly12bells
Rising Star 2
Rising Star 2

Posts : 6116
Points : 36320
Reputation : 18
Join date : 2009-09-19
Age : 21
Location : On a midnight train going anywhere...

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by superdork11 on Sat 07 May 2011, 1:27 pm

It was. *Agrees with Rachel*
avatar
superdork11
Rising Star 1
Rising Star 1

Posts : 3726
Points : 33305
Reputation : 16
Join date : 2009-11-04
Age : 19
Location : Watching you. O.O

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Broken

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum