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Nothing more to be said

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Nothing more to be said

Post by BellatrixMalfoy on Sat 07 May 2011, 10:01 pm

M&F - Kind of mature...and for fantasy, it mentions faeries.


Dragging her wrist across the knife
Removing the pain of her worthless life,
A lovely collage of skin, tears, and red
A flash of the memory of what had been said
Removing the pain for just a short while
While throwing herself into deeper exile
But even that just can’t sustain
The greatness, the weight, of all her pain
She tells herself it simply doesn’t matter
But she misses it, the love, the happiness, the flatter
She cries out to herself, into her bed
But self animosity keeps visiting her head
“Am I a mistake?” she thinks, this helpless thought
And it’s obvious her suicidal thoughts can’t be fought
She tries, she tries, but she just can’t win
Telling herself no then recommitting the sin
Falling so hard for someone once more,
Love must just be something of faeries and folklore
She then knows she’s not meant to find love,
It’s written from the dirt in her vains to the skies above
This is it, she decides; now is the time
She carves “sans amour” into the wall
Never has there been such an undeserved shrine
She finds and hangs a long, black old worn thread
She ties a knot, and in it she places her weeping head
There she leaves us now; with nothing more to be said


Last edited by BellatrixMalfoy on Sun 08 May 2011, 1:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by Tolly12bells on Sun 08 May 2011, 12:06 pm

... *Is speechless* That was terribly sad, but beautifully written...

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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Sun 08 May 2011, 2:36 pm

Whoa. o.O That was, as Lauren said, beautifully written. Wow.
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by Dreamer on Wed 11 May 2011, 6:01 pm

*snapplause* That was really beautiful. Usually attempted rhyming in poetry is suicide for the literature but you executed that marvelously.

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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Wed 11 May 2011, 6:23 pm

*Agrees with Nadine*
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by PeggySnow on Wed 11 May 2011, 6:50 pm

*Agrees with Elieen agreeing with Nadine* That was beautiful. Sad, but just so... Amazing.

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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Wed 11 May 2011, 6:51 pm

Yes. *Agrees with Peggy* Not even gonna try the rest.
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by BellatrixMalfoy on Fri 13 May 2011, 11:09 pm

Thanks ladies/guys Smile

And feel free to critique; I'm relatively knew at writing poems, so help would be...helpful xD
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by Tolly12bells on Fri 13 May 2011, 11:35 pm

I'd love to help but... Wow. I literally have nothing to say about this poem... Wow. I'd never guess you were a new poet. That's amazing...

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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Sat 14 May 2011, 8:41 am

Yeah, I have really, nothing to critique it about.
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by BellatrixMalfoy on Sun 15 May 2011, 1:34 pm

Thanks Smile That's really nice to hear. Does the rhyming seem forced to you all?
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Sun 15 May 2011, 2:21 pm

NEIN! Hah, no, it doesn't. It's really good. Smile
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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by Tolly12bells on Sun 15 May 2011, 8:38 pm

No... Not at all. It flows very evenly.

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Re: Nothing more to be said

Post by superdork11 on Sun 15 May 2011, 9:21 pm

Yes, yes it does.
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Re: Nothing more to be said

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